The party approaches an old keep.  There is a crumbling out wall.  The party has discovered footprints and a wily character among them has determined that kobolds are in the are.  The party is pretty sure the kobolds are guarding the small courtyard leading into the keep but aren’t 100% sure of their location.

Basic D&D
The party consists of 1 Elf, 1 Magic-User, 1 Halfling, and 1 Cleric.  The person playing the halfing is the noob, but you already guessed that.

The party stops and listens.  The elf makes the listen check and hears the kobolds moving.  They know where they are so the party moves in.  The DM rolls for a surprise round, the kobolds are surprised but he ignores the roll because quite frankly he wants the party to have some challenge.  They roll initiative.  Silently the DM curses because the party won initiative.  There are 4 kobolds.  The elf attacks and kills one.  The cleric attacks and kills one.  The Magic-User throws a magic missile and kills one.  The Halfling misses.  The remaining kobold fails his morale save.  The party loots and turns up 13 cp.  The party curses the magic user for wasting his magic missile, they go back to town to recover the lost spell.

1st/2nd edition AD&D
The party consists of 1 Elf Fighter/Magic User, 1 Dwarf Cleric, 1 Human Magic-User and 1 Half-Elf ranger.

The party stops and listens.  The elf makes the listen check and hears the kobolds.  The DM rolls for a surprise round but nobody is surprised.  Everyone rolls initiative.  The DM re-explains THAC0 to the half-elf.  The Half-Elf takes one out with a bow.  The DM re-explains THAC0 to the elf.  The elf takes one out with a bow.  The Magic User sits on his but not wanting to waste his only spell. The DM is about to re-explain THAC0 to the dwarf but he rolled a 2.  The kobolds hit the elf for four damage.  Next round the kobolds run and the dwarf gets one on the way out.  The party loots and finds 13 cp and a cursed sword which turns the dwarf into a fairy.

3.x edition
The party consists of a gnoll barbarian, githzeria monk, sun-elf wizard, and goblin rogue.

The monk makes a listen check and hears the kobolds.  The rogue sneaks out and scouts their exact location.  They get behind the gnoll who charges in with his guisarme.  In the surprise round the gnoll slaughters one, the monk kills another and the rogue kills a third.  The wizard offers sarcastic commentary and checks his email.  The party loots and finds 13 sp which they ignore.

4th edition.
The party consists of a tiefling warlock, a dragonborn fighter, a Halfling rogue and a half-elf ranger.

The half-elf makes a listen check and they figure out where the kobolds are.  The DM has them playing on full scale battle mat so they lay out their positions.  In the first round the ranger shoots but misses, the fighter charges but his attack also misses.  The Halfling has no ranged weapon but is scared to engage.  The warlock scores a hit and does some damage.  The kobolds proceed to severely damage the fighter while keeping out of his range.  By now the players have figured out that kobolds have more than 3 hp.  They keep it up for another 4 rounds until all of them have burned their daily powers and the fighter and rogue have both dropped.  The ranger managed to drop the last one.  The part loots and finds a potion of healing and 130 gp.  They decide that three strikers in the party wasn’t a good idea after all.  They decide to re-form the party.

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Basic D&D
Please, please, please, please make my save vs. dragon breath.  Yes!  What, I still die.  You suck!  This game sucks!  I hate you all!  Grumbles and rolls new character sheet.

1st/2nd edition AD&D
Please, please, please, please make my save vs. dragon breath.  Yes!  What, I still die.  You suck!  This game sucks!  I hate you all!  Grumbles and rolls new character sheet.

3.x edition
Fortunately I min/maxed against this very possibility.  One hit, in the right place should do the trick.  What, you gave him class levels?  Prestige classes?  You bastard?  Fort save?  What?  Oh this roll had better be a 20.  Dammit, I thought one hit kills were done with in 3rd edition.  You suck!  This game sucks!  I hate you all!  Grumbles and rolls new character sheet.

4th edition.
Three hours of intense mini combat later.  I hate you all!  This game sucks!  You cheated!  You can’t put a trap, okay seven traps, in the middle of the battlefield that only the dragon knows about.  What were you thinking?  Aaargh, I thought they did away with party wipe in this edition!  Grumbles and opens character creator.

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Basic D&D
Magic-User/Elf: Fireball!  All mobs grovel before me or perish!
Fighter:  It thought you said that at level 3 with phantasmal force.
Magic-User: Oh yeah, I guess I did.  What are you complaining for you XP leach?  Maybe you can dodge a fireball, shall we find out?

1st/2nd edition AD&D
DM: Fireball!

3.x edition
Wizard:  What?  They so nerfed fireball.  This sucks.  This so sucks.  Dammit I’m going to play a cleric.
Cleric:  What?  They so nerfed hold person.  This so sucks.  Dammit I’m going to play a wizard.
Fighter:  Whoa, iterative attacks at level 6.  This rocks!  Suck it you spell casting sissies, I’m going to kick your butts!

4th edition.
Wizard: WFT?  Where’s fireball?  This sucks, I’m playing 3rd edition.
Fighter:  More powers?  Whoa, I’m not sure I can handle this.  Just gimme something to bash.
Rogue:  Where are my skill charts.  I miss the old skill charts.  Nothing left for me to copy anymore.

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Basic D&D
Cleric:  Woot!  I’m level 3 already.  Rolls d6 and copies in new attack and save numbers.
Magic User: Finally level 2.  Now I can cast sleep twice a day!  Rolls d4 and curses the dice.
Fighter/Dwarf: Level 2 , cool.  Better attacks and more HP. Rolls d8.
Halfling:  What, only a stupid d6 for HP?  What kind of a fighter is this?  You guys told me a Halfling was good.  You bastards!
Thief:  Level 3, cool.  You know it does get kind of tedious re-copying these skill charts every level.  Anybody else have to do this?
Elf:  Leveling up?  I think I need another 1000 xp for level 2.  Don’t worry though, I’ll catch up with you guys.

1st/2nd edition AD&D
Human characters:  Wootz, levels.  I love levels.  Roll HP and copy down new saves and attack values.  Make a note of special ability.  Oh wait, I have to re-figure my THAC0, hey DM can you do this for me?
Multiclass demi-humans:  We’ll catch up with you in another 2000XP, but thanks for the thought.

3.x edition
Aha!  All proceeds by my master plan. But wait, somebody released a new splat book.  Whoah that prestige class looks cool.  Okay, I can still get it I just have to re-think my feat progression a little.  If I take a level of sorc I can get there, but bard will give me bardic knowledge.  Wait?  All that for one lousy ability?  Oh why didn’t I just start with levels of fighter.  Rolls HP, grumbles and places skill points carefully.

4th edition.
Wohoo a new utility power!  What no rolling HP, I want to use my dice.  Dammit I didn’t fork out $20.00 on these new custom dice for nothing.  Let me roll my freakin dice already!  What?  I have to recalculate every number on my character sheet?  Oh man this is going to take a few minutes.

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The party finds a locked treasure chest.  They are all pretty sure that it is trapped, but they also know it has the treasure they have been looking for.

Basic D&D
The party consists of 1 Elf, 1 Magic-User, 1 Halfling, and 1 Cleric.

The party convinces the Halfling that he should pry open the chest with the 10 foot pole he brought along while they wait in the corridor outside.  When they hear his body they go in and loot the chest and the Halfling.  They get 100pp 636gp and two gems worth 300gp and 550gp.  They rejoice, dividing the loot 3 ways while the noob roles up a dwarf.

1st/2nd edition AD&D
The party consists of 1 Elf Fighter/Magic User, 1 Dwarf Cleric, 1 Human Magic-User and 1 Half-Elf ranger.

Nobody is dumb enough to try to open the chest on their own and they don’t have a thief good enough to disarm the trap.  They drag the chest out of the dungeon and over to a low cliff where they heave it over hoping against hope that the contents aren’t fragile.  Turns out they shattered a mysterious bottle of liquid which just happens to be the key to the quest and the solution to the cursed sword.  They also find 50pp and a note.

3.x edition
The party consists of a gnoll barbarian, githzeria monk, sun-elf wizard, and goblin rogue.

The gnoll kicks the chest open releasing poison gas.  They all take 1d6 constitution damage.  They loot 500gp and a scroll of speak with animals.  Nobody is worried so on they go.

4th edition.
The party consists of an elf cleric, a dragonborn fighter, a Halfling rogue and an eladrin wizard.

The rogue makes a thievery check and opens the chest without incident.  Inside they find a magical mace and a note.

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Okay, so the debate has waxed hot around the internet, so I’m going to add my grease to the fire in the next series of posts.  Try not to take me too seriously because, as with everything else I do this exercise is about finding the fun.

Sample the first:  character creation.

Basic D&D

Roll 3d6 six times.  Put your lowest score into Charisma.  Put your highest score into your class’s prime requisite.  Copy down your saving throws and attack numbers.  Roll starting gold.  Buy equipment.  Ten minutes later you are in the dungeon.

1st/2nd Edition AD&D

Roll 4d6 six times.  Put your lowest score into Charisma.  Put your highest score into your class’s prime requisite.  If you wanted to play a paladin or ranger then screw around with your stats until you had something that worked.  If your DM allowed it, reroll until you got a decent character.  Have the DM THAC0.  Make racial modifiers to your ability scores.  Have the DM re-explain THAC0.  Copy down saving throws and to hit numbers.  Have the DM re-explain THAC0.  Fifteen minutes later you are in the dungeon.

3.x edition

Roll 4d6 six times.  Compare your results to a point-buy character.  Haggle with the DM until he gives you more points to spend.  Re-read the pre-requisites for every prestige class available.  Re-read the level progression for each base class available.  Calculate out the feats you will need for the first prestige class.  Min/Max based on feat entry requirements.  Put just enough points into INT/WIS/CHA to cover the highest level of spells you plan on learning (unless you are munchkining a spell caster or bard), dump most everything else into strength.  Re-calculate.  Decide you to go a different route.  Email your DM and ask about tweaking a feat.  When he says no, email your DM asking about an obscure feat found in a hard to find splat book.  Keep tweaking until you have +12 to whatever key action you want to use at first level.  Two days later you enter your data onto a character sheet.  Fifteen minutes later you are in the dungeon.

4th edition
Choose a pre-generated ability score array from the PHB.  Curse silently because there is no tweaking going on.  Re-read the list of powers, silently cursing because nothing seems to stack and it doesn’t feel like there is room to wiggle.  Choose your powers.  Re-read the list of feats, looking for a loophole.  Choose a feat.  Buy some equipment.  Copy some numbers onto your character sheet.  Copy some numbers onto your power cards.  Half an hour later you enter the dungeon, still feeling like you got ripped off because you weren’t able to tweak anything and didn’t get to ask the DM once about an obscure feat.

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